Why The Coronavirus Crisis Is Reminding Us How To Be Human

Why The Coronavirus Crisis Is Reminding Us How To Be Human

Why The Coronavirus Has Caused Us To Swap ‘FOMO’ For ‘EMOL’

Think back to a time when the world looked very different. A social anxiety known as ‘fear of missing out’ (FOMO) had become acknowledged as a real thing. FOMO sufferers felt a need to continuously stay connected to what other people were doing. As a result, real-life families, friends and couples were becoming distanced from each other. It was what ‘other people’ were doing that held real interest. This was a time when social media, and not the coronavirus, held all the power. This was the mental and emotional distancing of ourselves from those close to us.

Fast forward to now and the truth is, ‘other people’ really aren’t doing very much at all. The celebrities we once watched travelling the world are now reduced to trying to make their back gardens look enviable. Most of us are realising that, actually, we’re much happier focusing on our own lives and our own loved ones. Any-one with any sense is replacing FOMO for EMOL (Enjoying My Own Life).

“The Thrills and Spills Have Gone”

Genuine closeness and understanding from the ‘real people’ in our lives now means everything. When Amanda Holden uploaded a picture of herself mowing the lawn in her wedding dress, as an attempt to gain attention from her ‘followers’, many of us felt nothing but pity. It’s hard to pretend we’re anything that we’re not when on 24 hour lock-down with our loved ones. The thrills and spills have gone. Relationships are about patience, kindness and a willingness to be someone else’s safe place. We’re grateful for the new routines and rituals our loved ones have helped us to form. We’re grateful that someone still finds us endearing, even when they can’t escape us.

The only contact we have with strangers are meetings of empathetic eyes above a face-mask in a supermarket queue. Silently, afraid to breathe the same air, we reassure others that ‘We’re in this together’. And then, dart away as quickly as possible. However, the joy these simple smiles bring, from people we’d never have looked up from our phones for before, reminds us that whatever restrictions the coronavirus crisis imposes upon us, we share the same hopes. We all want everyone to be okay. And, we want to come out of this treasuring the one irreplaceable thing we were on the verge of losing: the joy of being human. This is not a time to watch other people live their lives. It’s about working out how to let authentic love, in all its forms, into our own lives.

Our experienced and friendly membership advisers are available to share an informal chat about how finding love during this time of uncertainty is still possible.

The Psychological Need For Relationships During Lock-down

The Psychological Need For Relationships During Lock-down

Why We Need Healthy Relationships During Lock-down

Adjusting to a new way of living is challenging. We are at our most vulnerable when much that has previously sustained us is put on hold. In this article, we examine the strong psychological need for healthy relationships.

We tend to go through a number of different stages during times of emotional trauma. It’s essential that we share healthy relationships with people who we can work these through with.

Disbelief: It’s hard to accept the sudden loss of freedoms; social groups; jobs. At first, many of us were in denial about the extent to which this crisis would effect us personally. Just weeks ago, the way we are now living seemed impossible to imagine.

Anger: How can this be happening to my business? Why can’t I see my family? Why are people panic-buying? Many of us experienced feelings of anger as our new reality set in. We searched for people to blame. Our tolerance levels were low and our mood edgy.

Sadness: Sadness often follows shocking changes. Realising we can’t fix things right now can make us tearful, just as seeing the country coming together to celebrate our key-workers can make us highly emotional, a mix of helplessness, gratitude and pain.

Acceptance: To survive, we have to reach a level of acceptance. At this point we are able to create new routines and coping mechanisms. We adjust to our new reality as the anger fades.

Hope: This is the strongest stage of our evolving feelings. We realise we are surviving which, most importantly, leads to creative thinking. We find hopeful and optimistic ways of seeing the future. Yes, our circumstances have changed, but happiness feels real and possible again.

How We Can Help

At Searchmate, we have responded quickly to our changing circumstances and have created virtual ways of connecting our members, ensuring their search for love is not put on hold. Our friendly and experienced membership advisers are able to talk you through ways in which we can help you to connect with genuinely single men and women looking for rewarding, long-term relationships.

How Dating Can Improve Your Well-Being

How Dating Can Improve Your Well-Being

The Mental and Physical Benefits of Dating:

However much we crave independence as humans, feeling connected to others is a fundamental need.  When we feel valued, we experience a boost to our well-being.  Strong social relationships help to protect both our mental and physical health.  From birth to old age, the quality of our connections with others affects our inner and outer life.  In this digital age, it’s easy for us to neglect this very real, human need.  Those who rely on ‘virtual’ relationships are frequently left with feelings of emptiness and inadequacy.  At Searchmate, we understand the importance of genuine, real-life bonds.  As a personal matchmaking agency, when we set up a match, we encourage our couples to meet in person as quickly as possible.  Our dating advice to clients includes:

Talk on the phone instead of emailing

Hearing a person’s voice and being able to pick up on tone and nuance is so much more satisfying than exchanging hurried messages.  As matchmakers, we find misunderstandings occur much more frequently when couples text or email instead of actually speaking to each other.

Give new people a chance

When dating, leave your preconceptions and prejudices behind and give new people an unbiased opportunity to share his or her personality with you.  People are almost always more interesting than you expect… if you give them a chance to be themselves.

Listen when people speak

We have all experienced the frustration of trying to share a two-way conversation with someone who only wants to speak about themselves.  When building connections, ask questions; find common ground.  Not only will the person you’re talking to feel valued, but you’ll learn so much more about them. At Searchmate we work with professional single men and women who want to feel valued by a partner.  When our clients find love, we witness a shift.  They grow in confidence, optimism and happiness.  Call on us  0800 644 4160 to hear more about how we can help you to build genuine, life-enhancing connections.
The DatingAdvice.com Team Meet Searchmate

The DatingAdvice.com Team Meet Searchmate

Hayley Matthews of Datingadvice.com talks about Searchmate:

Julie, a 40-year-old lawyer living in the UK, had gone on four dates through Searchmate before the matchmakers suggested Jonathon, a down-to-earth single father who lived nine miles away. Julie wanted children, so she was hesitant to date a man who had already started a family. However, the matchmakers assured her that he was open to having more children and compatible with her in every other respect. Julie gave a reserved yes to exchanging contact information and seeing where things go.

The couple hit it off right away. After their second date, they were already making plans far in the future. In Julie’s words, “It has been nothing short of amazing ever since our first phone conversation.”

Since it was founded in 1998, Searchmate has helped thousands of singles figure out what they want and find their happily-ever-afters. In 2012, the well-known matchmaking agency came under new leadership, and its membership numbers shot through the roof.

Photo of the Searchmate logo

UK singles with a one-year Searchmate membership receive unlimited personal introductions.

“In the last five years, we’ve grown our database 12 times over,” said Mike Parker, Searchmate’s Managing Director. “I always say Searchmate is the opposite of online dating. We work with people individually and very carefully arrange introductions.”

From its headquarters in Birmingham, Searchmate connects singles across the country in a far-reaching database. Matchmakers suggest compatible partners to relationship-minded singles and allow them to browse ID-verified members in the database. Over the decades, the high-end introduction agency has grown its singles database to over 46,000 members throughout the UK.

“Searchmate has become a very strong brand in the UK,” Mike said. “We have the largest database of personally interviewed and ID checked professionals in the UK.”

How It Works: A Personalized Vetting & Matchmaking Process

Not just anyone can join Searchmate. You have to make an inquiry and get approval from the team of dating experts. The agency does a thorough background check on all newcomers, and every new client is personally interviewed by a member of the team.

The Senior Membership Adviser, Julie Lazarus, leads the effort to cultivate a strong and genuine membership of single men and women. Julie is an energetic and straightforward assistant for members in the early phases of joining Searchmate. Hers is often the first face a new Searchmate client sees, so it’s up to her to make sure they get started on the right foot.

Searchmate also conducts thorough background checks before allowing someone to join the membership base. The team is highly selective and only serves financially solvent and upstanding members of society.

“We check new members very carefully through one of the most comprehensive authentication systems available in the UK,” Mike said. Backed by the technology of LexisNexis, a computer-assisted research legal and business tool, the Searchmate team can perform ID checks and financial fraud checks to ensure everyone is who they say they are.

Once the client has passed the background check, Julie passes the dating profile on to a matchmaker who then chooses compatible matches. The matchmakers show clients the profiles (including photos) of people they think would be a good fit for them. If both individuals agree to the match, the agency facilitates the exchange of contact information and lets the couple take it from there.

“We’ve got an honest and transparent profile of that person,” Mike said, “but, of course, it is all extremely discreet. That profile and photos are not accessible on the internet anywhere. It is completely confidential between the client and the matchmaking team.”

Who Benefits: Relationship-Minded Men & Women Over 40

 The demographics of Searchmate’s members are as diverse as the population of the UK. However, Mike told us the dating agency attracts more male clients than female clients — a fact that sets them apart from the typical UK matchmaking database.

Mike speculated that Searchmate’s brand appeals to men because it’s “unfussy” — the straightforward and transparent system gives daters more control over their love lives without being too intrusive. The streamlined matchmaking process allows matchmakers to make introductions, but also empowers clients to look for matches for themselves on the database.

The typical Searchmate client is an adult who has tried other means of dating and desires a more personalized approach to finding a long-term love. In terms of age, the sweet spot is between 40 and 65, but the matchmaking team will happily work with singles who are younger or older.



Dating in 2018: Why It’s Time To Get Real

Dating in 2018: Why It’s Time To Get Real

Looking for love in 2018?  Find out why dating is about to get real…

dating 2018

It’s Over For Game-Players

2017 was a year of secrets revealed and slipping masks.  Most notably, world leaders and political systems were exposed as never before.  Furthermore, the entertainment industry – a place where the truth had been hushed up for years – held its hands up to gross misuses of power.  Communities were forced to confront their harshest truths.  Subsequently, our own personal relationships fell under the microscope.   Only the strongest survived.

What Will Single People Be Looking For in 2018?

Authenticity will be key in 2018.  As a result, dating apps and online agencies without ID checks will become less appealing.  Single men and women no longer want to brush off awkward and potentially dangerous situations.  Dating will be about accepting your true self.  Consequently, you’ll be looking for honesty in a partner.

Is the Dating Industry Ready For Change?

Change is exactly what the Dating Agency Association and its members have been pushing for.  As a result, Searchmate is thrilled to be able to offer the largest client list of ID checked single men and women in the UK.  We know that authenticity is key.  Our clients recoil at the thought of putting themselves at risk.  Therefore, we help them to build relationships based on trust from the get-go.


Contact our experienced and friendly membership advisers on 0800 644 4160 for an informal chat about how we can help you to find authentic love, 9am – 9pm, every day.