Surviving Christmas as a Singleton
We have all seen Bridget Jones dreading the Christmas Party, faced with a room full of apparently happily married couples and the nosy relatives and family friends with their not at all subtle enquiries of, “Got a new man yet? You must be over old so and so by now!” Despite such gatherings giving us the impression that the whole world apart from ourselves is neatly paired off, bear in mind that official figures show that around 1/3rd of the UK population is currently single – that may be a minority but it is still an awful lot of people, in fact that’s over 20 million of us. So take heart, you are certainly not alone!
So how do you go about surviving Christmas as a Singleton? Firstly, look at all the positives. There is not the duty visit with in-laws to endure and you can relish pleasing yourself with how to best use your time. You can enjoy taking time to relax over the festive session and you can plan ahead to do activities that you know you will enjoy, without the necessity of having to fit around someone else’s priorities or schedule.
As regards surviving those parties that seem full of couples, remember that they did invite you so they do want you there, whether alone or not, you are very welcome. Keep that in mind and stand tall, dress your best and go in with confidence. Usually there is the option to take a friend along if that might help you feel more comfortable, if but so, ensure that it is someone who won’t take up all your time making sure that they are OK, after all, you need to enjoy the party too! If you think you might be asked awkward and personal questions about your love life, it may be useful to have an answer ready prepared and a plan as to how to move the conversation onto a topic you would prefer. You are entitled to your privacy and even very well meaning friends need to understand that.
You might want to be proactive and invite some friends round. Include some singles but don’t forget its fine to mix singles with couples, so invite who you enjoy the company of, rather than selecting people based on their relationship status. Make an effort to entertain and you will enjoy the occasion.
Another option is to consider offering some of your time to a charity over Christmas. There are many options for this which a surf of the net will reveal and giving of your time can be a great way of meeting new people whilst lifting your spirits and those you help in the process.
One more suggestion to surviving Christmas as a singleton is to look at taking a trip away, either in this country or to discover somewhere new overseas. There are singles breaks with activities through which you can make new friends and many of these are by no means all about dating. They can be really fun ways to enjoy social time with other like-minded single travellers.
If your thoughts are turning to being one of a couple rather than staying single and not having to go through the horrors of surviving Christmas as a singleton, you are very welcome to speak to a Membership Adviser at Searchmate, a leading professional Dating Agency offering a successful, personal and secure matchmaking service. Joining Searchmate’s membership could well see your options expanding in whole new and exciting directions, with the festive session in mind!
Want to know more? Our team of Membership Adviser’s are always happy to speak to you about joining Searchmate and to talk you through our membership options. Ring us from 9am until 9pm everyday apart from Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day on 0800 644 4160 or click here to complete our contact form.
Dating Safely With Searchmate
In an age where more and more people are dating and looking for partners. In a market place that has expanded exponentially since the launch of Match.Com. in the UK in 1998, it is very easy to get carried away and bitten by the dating bug. But please do it very carefully. Our new guide Dating Safely with Searchmate is a mine of information on how to best keep yourself safe when seeking new partners. Please see how you can obtain your own free advance copy later on in this article.
There are more than 1400 dating sites and dating agencies in the UK alone in a market that is approaching £1 billion per annum in revenue, but not everything in the garden is perfect with dating related crimes and dating fraud soaring too. Recently more than 54% of online daters felt they had been contacted by someone who had seriously misrepresented themselves online. In terms of the truthfulness of their profile, the age of their photos, their height and/or weight, their occupation or their marital/relationship status. As well as that 28% felt that they had been approached by someone who made them feel uncomfortable or had harassed them.
2016 will it be remembered for the wrong reasons?
For more and more people keeping safe in the search for new partners is becoming a really serious consideration. In 2016 alone we have seen a further murder involving people who met on Plenty of Fish and another involving Oasis, we have also witnessed the very high profile Match.Com rape trial. This was where their client Jason Lawrence was jailed for life at Derby Crown Court, for 6 rapes and an attempted rape.
With the trial of Stefano Brizzi. Who is alleged to have murdered and dismembered the body of a serving Police Officer Gordon Semple. Who he had met on a Dating App, due to start at the Old Bailey in London later this month. 2016 has been notable for many of the wrong reasons in the dating world and at Searchmate we are extremely keen to offer a safer, more confidential alternative to high profile online sites. Ensuring our members are dating safely and with confidence. With many online sites the client’s personal details and photographs are very high profile and extremely easily accessed by anyone who wishes, often non-members too. They can also often be easily found on Google and other search engines.
The launch of our own Dating Safely Campaign
Shortly in conjunction with our Regulator the Dating Agency Association, we are planning to launch our own Dating Safely Campaign. This is to help raise awareness of the dangers that are associated with online dating and promoting the safe, confidential and more professional alternative that joining Searchmate provides.
We will be providing a comprehensive guide to keeping safe whilst seeking new partners. This will be free to all that request it. For an advance copy please complete our Contact Form. And request one to be posted to you as soon as they have been published. Or telephone us for free on 0800 644 4160. and once again we will mail this to you as soon as it has been published. Let’s be careful out there and date safely.
Is online dating killing long term romance?
Online dating has been a tremendous success in terms of the number of people who have tried it. Since the start of the new millennium, and we have seen a transformation in the way men and women now seek to meet potential partners. But the question has to be asked is online dating killing long term romance as more and more people struggle to find commitment online and men prepared to put their all into an exclusive, committed relationship?
Match.com, one of the first online sites Was launched in the USA in 1995 and in the UK in 1998. And has been a trail blazing pioneer in terms of online dating. Nine million Britons are still on the various dating sites and apps. Although in real terms we have seen a dramatic downturn in numbers in recent years. Largely due to the bad publicity that online dating has received and a spate of high profile cases in the courts that have made many people much more alert to the dangers they may be placing themselves in.
Major Cultural Changes
There is little doubt that we have witnessed a major cultural change since the start of the new millennium and that the vast numbers of people who have tried online dating have experienced a way of life they perhaps didn’t expect or think possible previously. Traditionally women may well have had two or three boyfriends and have then settled into marriage and raised a family. Now with the numbers involved it is so easy to get into a culture of seeking perfection in that search for ‘the one’ but will they ever truly get there?
Research in the Daily Mail revealed that the imbalance between women and men on some online sites can be as much as 6:1. So the question has to be asked ‘How many men are going to want to settle down in such circumstances?’
Traditional Personal Matchmaking
Happily there is an alternative in terms of traditional personal matchmaking. And the team here at Searchmate would gladly talk you through our more personal service. And how working with a Personal Matchmaker. On a one on one basis could be the perfect solution to the ‘commitment phobia’ we have described. Ring us on 0800 644 4160. Contact us via our live chat or complete our contact form. And we will get back to you within 24 working hours. It could make such a difference to you life.
Hollywood’s ‘Worst Tinder Date Ever’
Hollywood producers have jumped on the Tinder bandwagon with a new movie based on the dating app. The Writers of ‘Friends With Benefits’, Keith Merryman and David A Newman, have pitched Warner Bros with an idea based on the horrors of throwaway dating. ‘Worst Tinder Date Ever’ focuses on two LA singles on a toe-curling date.
Meanwhile, Sony is developing a new movie that takes place entirely within a smartphone. The stars of this project? Emojis and apps that come to life.
Can such concepts ever replace heart-warming, beautifully human romances such as Sleepless in Seattle, Annie Hall or Titanic? At Searchmate we’re not convinced!
To find out why we still believe in good, old-fashioned romance, call our team of expert membership advisers today on 0800 644 4160 or click here to complete our contact form and we will get back to you within 24 working hours.
Hospital Doctor in Online Dating Fraud
I was so sad to read about Liz Todd, the talented and hard working hospital Doctor duped out of £168,000 this week by the heartless conman and fraudster Christopher Heayns. Through what is fast becoming notorious for this type of case – the online dating site Plenty of Fish. When I saw yet again the headline in the press ‘Hospital Doctor in Online Dating Fraud’ my heart sank.
Why does it happen when there are viable and credible alternatives such as our very own Searchmate site? Where we invest thousands of pounds annually in promoting ourselves as an alternative and add to our costs by deploying a team of interviewers around the country to visit people in their own homes to check potential members out and utilise an expensive authentication and verification system to completely vet and check out each and every joiner.
Well I will tell you why it continues to happen. Because fraudsters like Christopher Heayns are so incredibly detailed in what they do and are extremely plausible. With Liz the lady in question this time. Gifting him £168,000 to invest ‘in their future together’ and unbeknown to her.Her mother Hilary (another highly intelligent lady working as a Biochemist) also being relieved of £125,000.
To illustrate the tragedy of this case and the cost of their involvement with Heayns, Liz has been left penniless by her actions, she has been forced to sell her home to pay off debts and has had to declare herself as insolvent whilst she battles against a tidal wave of creditors and her mother has had to return to work in retirement in an attempt to keep herself afloat.
Professional Personal Matchmakers
But the saddest question has to be why? Searchmate has been around since 1998 and has in the past helped many thousands of people through their personal matchmaking expertise. Employing one of the largest teams of professional Personal Matchmakers in the UK.
You too can benefit from Searchmate’s highly professional approach to dating. And the fact that all of our members are thoroughly vetted and checked before they are allowed to join. Ring us on 0800 644 4160. Initiate a live chat. Or complete our contact form. We will then call you at our expense.
Are you currently in a relationship for the right reasons or the wrong ones? When a relationship is new we are often prone to overlooking issues and the other persons faults in the hope that over time things will improve and become more acceptable. Obviously that rarely happens. Here we look at 5 reasons why you might be in the wrong relationship and why staying with the wrong person is not going to bring you the long term happiness that we all deserve and can attain.
It’s easier to ignore your feelings and doubts
Moving on from a relationship can be a tough thing to do and sometimes it is easier to ignore your feelings and desires to move on and to continue to maintain the equilibrium. But can you do that for the long term or are those doubts and dissatisfaction’s just going to overwhelm you eventually. We feel so – eventually your doubts are going to become so great that you simply cannot live with them any longer. But why waste years in coming to that conclusion?
You don’t feel you will find anyone better
This is one of the most common reasons of all for staying with someone you don’t love and is often caused by a lack of confidence or belief that you can find love again. We are all getting older and worry that it may be difficult to find someone new but that should not be a valid reason for staying in a relationship that is not right for you. At Searchmate we are dealing with all age groups and with people right up to retirement and into retirement.
You feel frightened of being alone
Some of us are able to value our independence and function as individuals, others find that more difficult and stay in a relationship because of inertia and fear of the unknown. But if you’re truly not happy then doing something about it should be a primary consideration. We only pass this way once and getting the maximum from this one life opportunity can be a powerful motivation for many. So why not find the courage and make the change?
You are afraid of hurting your existing partner
This is another of the biggest reasons that people stay in an unhappy relationship, the fear of hurting their current partner. But once again it is not a valid reason if you are unhappy and have fallen out of love with that person. Longer term it is far kinder to both of you to end the unhappiness and move on to experience real love and a fulfilling relationship once again.
You are afraid of your partner moving on
This is a reason that is often not talked about very much, but is about those pangs of jealousy you would feel if your current partner moves on and finds a new love. However is that truly relevant if you have feelings of unhappiness within your current relationship and have fallen out of love? If you were friends before you began your relationship you can be friends again in the future and would want to see them happy too. So although overcoming these feelings of jealousy can be a hurdle to climb – you can do it and go on to find a wonderful new love for yourself too.
Could we help at all? At Searchmate we have experienced many thousands of relationship issues since we first opened our doors in the 1990’s. Julie Lazarus, our Senior Membership Adviser, is always available to talk through issues with you or why not seek the guidance of our Resident Relationship Expert – Dating Coach Ivana Franekova. Both can be available to chat from 9am until 9pm most days on 0800 644 4160. We’d love to hear from you if you think you’d like to talk things through.