Is online dating killing long term romance?
Online dating has been a tremendous success in terms of the number of people who have tried it. Since the start of the new millennium, and we have seen a transformation in the way men and women now seek to meet potential partners. But the question has to be asked is online dating killing long term romance as more and more people struggle to find commitment online and men prepared to put their all into an exclusive, committed relationship?
Match.com, one of the first online sites Was launched in the USA in 1995 and in the UK in 1998. And has been a trail blazing pioneer in terms of online dating. Nine million Britons are still on the various dating sites and apps. Although in real terms we have seen a dramatic downturn in numbers in recent years. Largely due to the bad publicity that online dating has received and a spate of high profile cases in the courts that have made many people much more alert to the dangers they may be placing themselves in.
Major Cultural Changes
There is little doubt that we have witnessed a major cultural change since the start of the new millennium and that the vast numbers of people who have tried online dating have experienced a way of life they perhaps didn’t expect or think possible previously. Traditionally women may well have had two or three boyfriends and have then settled into marriage and raised a family. Now with the numbers involved it is so easy to get into a culture of seeking perfection in that search for ‘the one’ but will they ever truly get there?
Research in the Daily Mail revealed that the imbalance between women and men on some online sites can be as much as 6:1. So the question has to be asked ‘How many men are going to want to settle down in such circumstances?’
Traditional Personal Matchmaking
Happily there is an alternative in terms of traditional personal matchmaking. And the team here at Searchmate would gladly talk you through our more personal service. And how working with a Personal Matchmaker. On a one on one basis could be the perfect solution to the ‘commitment phobia’ we have described. Ring us on 0800 644 4160. Contact us via our live chat or complete our contact form. And we will get back to you within 24 working hours. It could make such a difference to you life.
Hollywood’s ‘Worst Tinder Date Ever’
Hollywood producers have jumped on the Tinder bandwagon with a new movie based on the dating app. The Writers of ‘Friends With Benefits’, Keith Merryman and David A Newman, have pitched Warner Bros with an idea based on the horrors of throwaway dating. ‘Worst Tinder Date Ever’ focuses on two LA singles on a toe-curling date.
Meanwhile, Sony is developing a new movie that takes place entirely within a smartphone. The stars of this project? Emojis and apps that come to life.
Can such concepts ever replace heart-warming, beautifully human romances such as Sleepless in Seattle, Annie Hall or Titanic? At Searchmate we’re not convinced!
To find out why we still believe in good, old-fashioned romance, call our team of expert membership advisers today on 0800 644 4160 or click here to complete our contact form and we will get back to you within 24 working hours.
Hospital Doctor in Online Dating Fraud
I was so sad to read about Liz Todd, the talented and hard working hospital Doctor duped out of £168,000 this week by the heartless conman and fraudster Christopher Heayns. Through what is fast becoming notorious for this type of case – the online dating site Plenty of Fish. When I saw yet again the headline in the press ‘Hospital Doctor in Online Dating Fraud’ my heart sank.
Why does it happen when there are viable and credible alternatives such as our very own Searchmate site? Where we invest thousands of pounds annually in promoting ourselves as an alternative and add to our costs by deploying a team of interviewers around the country to visit people in their own homes to check potential members out and utilise an expensive authentication and verification system to completely vet and check out each and every joiner.
Dating Fraudster
Well I will tell you why it continues to happen. Because fraudsters like Christopher Heayns are so incredibly detailed in what they do and are extremely plausible. With Liz the lady in question this time. Gifting him £168,000 to invest ‘in their future together’ and unbeknown to her.Her mother Hilary (another highly intelligent lady working as a Biochemist) also being relieved of £125,000.
To illustrate the tragedy of this case and the cost of their involvement with Heayns, Liz has been left penniless by her actions, she has been forced to sell her home to pay off debts and has had to declare herself as insolvent whilst she battles against a tidal wave of creditors and her mother has had to return to work in retirement in an attempt to keep herself afloat.
Professional Personal Matchmakers
But the saddest question has to be why? Searchmate has been around since 1998 and has in the past helped many thousands of people through their personal matchmaking expertise. Employing one of the largest teams of professional Personal Matchmakers in the UK.
You too can benefit from Searchmate’s highly professional approach to dating. And the fact that all of our members are thoroughly vetted and checked before they are allowed to join. Ring us on 0800 644 4160. Initiate a live chat. Or complete our contact form. We will then call you at our expense.
Are you currently in a relationship for the right reasons or the wrong ones? When a relationship is new we are often prone to overlooking issues and the other persons faults in the hope that over time things will improve and become more acceptable. Obviously that rarely happens. Here we look at 5 reasons why you might be in the wrong relationship and why staying with the wrong person is not going to bring you the long term happiness that we all deserve and can attain.
It’s easier to ignore your feelings and doubts
Moving on from a relationship can be a tough thing to do and sometimes it is easier to ignore your feelings and desires to move on and to continue to maintain the equilibrium. But can you do that for the long term or are those doubts and dissatisfaction’s just going to overwhelm you eventually. We feel so – eventually your doubts are going to become so great that you simply cannot live with them any longer. But why waste years in coming to that conclusion?
You don’t feel you will find anyone better
This is one of the most common reasons of all for staying with someone you don’t love and is often caused by a lack of confidence or belief that you can find love again. We are all getting older and worry that it may be difficult to find someone new but that should not be a valid reason for staying in a relationship that is not right for you. At Searchmate we are dealing with all age groups and with people right up to retirement and into retirement.
You feel frightened of being alone
Some of us are able to value our independence and function as individuals, others find that more difficult and stay in a relationship because of inertia and fear of the unknown. But if you’re truly not happy then doing something about it should be a primary consideration. We only pass this way once and getting the maximum from this one life opportunity can be a powerful motivation for many. So why not find the courage and make the change?
You are afraid of hurting your existing partner
This is another of the biggest reasons that people stay in an unhappy relationship, the fear of hurting their current partner. But once again it is not a valid reason if you are unhappy and have fallen out of love with that person. Longer term it is far kinder to both of you to end the unhappiness and move on to experience real love and a fulfilling relationship once again.
You are afraid of your partner moving on
This is a reason that is often not talked about very much, but is about those pangs of jealousy you would feel if your current partner moves on and finds a new love. However is that truly relevant if you have feelings of unhappiness within your current relationship and have fallen out of love? If you were friends before you began your relationship you can be friends again in the future and would want to see them happy too. So although overcoming these feelings of jealousy can be a hurdle to climb – you can do it and go on to find a wonderful new love for yourself too.
Could we help at all? At Searchmate we have experienced many thousands of relationship issues since we first opened our doors in the 1990’s. Julie Lazarus, our Senior Membership Adviser, is always available to talk through issues with you or why not seek the guidance of our Resident Relationship Expert – Dating Coach Ivana Franekova. Both can be available to chat from 9am until 9pm most days on 0800 644 4160. We’d love to hear from you if you think you’d like to talk things through.
Is it safe to date online?
Is it safe to date online? If I had £1 for every time I have been asked this question I would be extremely wealthy.
In the week where yet again a man in the UK has been jailed for life for a crime relating to online dating. This time the murder of an innocent lady on the website Plenty of Fish, then we asked Julie Lazarus, Senior Membership Adviser at Searchmate for her views. Says Julie “I have to say unequivocally that – no it’s not safe and you must do so at your own peril.”
This time it was a sick and savage fantasist Carl Langdell, who had previously told his Psychiatric Nurse that he wanted to slash a ladies throat and that he was a monster, was jailed for life for the murder of the young teacher Katie Locke, in the grounds of the 4 Star, Theobalds Park Hotel, in Hertfordshire.
Julie continues “I am going to stop dressing this up and come right out and recommend that NO it is no longer safe to date online. The service that we offer at Searchmate is much safer for the following reasons”:
A Much Safer Option
- All of our members are personally interviewed and vetted using one of the most comprehensive questionnaires in the UK
- We have one of the most sophisticated authentication and verification systems in the dating industry
- We attract people genuinely looking for a long term ongoing monogamous relationship
- Our clients are usually from a professional, executive or business background
- There is no online profile or photograph, your data is completely secure
- You work one on one with a Personal Matchmaker. That we allocate to you on joining – someone with a thorough knowledge of our database.
- We have our own leading edge matchmaking technology, designed specifically to be used by a Personal Matchmaker
- We are a well established, professional company. With the largest team of Personal Matchmakers in the UK – come to our office and meet us if you wish.
Chat with Julie Today!
Julie continues further; “So please don’t take risks putting your life on the line by meeting people from the internet. Ring me today for a no obligation chat on our service and how it works on 0800 644 4160. Or chat to me through our chat technology on our homepage. There is no cost whatsoever for our advice or help initially. And our joining fees are amongst the most competitive in the industry. Or click here to leave your details and we’ll get back to you.”
Dating in the spring
At last April has arrived and with it thoughts of dating in the spring! With the clocks going forward and the lighter evenings arriving we are all feeling a little more optimistic. If you are single you may find your thoughts turning to the possibility of finding a soul mate but how do you go about this? Some people may decide to join an online dating site, but this way does not suit everyone. Others may decide that they prefer the approach of a professional dating agency. At we are committed to meeting and getting to know each of our clients personally so that we can significantly increase the chance of you finding that special someone.
Once you have selected the dating agency that you feel most comfortable with and begun the process of finding your soul mate you need to think about how to make a good impression on your first date.
Making a good impression
First of all, it is important that when you arrange a date you arrive on time. Make sure you have each other’s mobile number so that if you are delayed for any reason you can let the other person know what’s happening. Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Secondly, do make an effort with your presentation and make sure you are well groomed and smartly dressed. You don’t have to be in your best suit or smartest dress but you do need to be clean and tidy; remember this is your chance to make a good first impression. It will make your date feel pleased that you have made an effort for them.
Things to bear in mind
Do not spend the whole date talking about your ex there really is nothing more off-putting. Be interested in your date, their lives and their job. Ask questions and listen to their replies. However, don’t monopolise the conversation leave them time to ask you questions. Be positive about yourself. In this way you are more likely to come across as a happy, confident individual and therefore more likely to appeal to your date.
What about a venue?
Finally, clients frequently ask where they should go on their first date. There is no right or wrong answer. You and your date should agree somewhere you feel comfortable and relaxed. It doesn’t always have to be a meal at a fancy restaurant which some people may find intimidating. Consider a cup of coffee, a trip to the cinema which will give you a shared experience and something to talk about on your next date or a lovely walk in the countryside (even better if one of you has a dog). And finally at the end of the date do say if you have enjoyed yourself. Don’t keep your date guessing. Make it clear that you had a good time and that you would be happy to see them again.
