Confusing times of modern dating

Confusing times of modern dating

Do you long for the times when you were just ‘Going out’?

Do you look back (no doubt through rose tinted glasses and with a heavy film of perfumed nostalgia over your lenses) to those simple pre-1980’s days of ‘going out’ with someone? Few of us would introduce someone then as our partner (unless of course we were in a professional relationship of some kind) and the terms of ‘boyfriend’, ‘girlfriend’ or occasionally ‘significant other ‘were far more the norm that is now known in modern dating.

In this pre big bang world the terra firma of the dating field felt reasonably solid beneath ones feet. After three dates we might reasonably assume we were by then ‘an item’ and the lady was quite entitled to ask the man when they were next meeting up and to expect a definite answer rather than a maybe, pencilled in sort of arrangement. Not having the option of texting meant real conversations and  better rather than worse communication. ‘I’ll call you’ was less used as a way of saying ‘I probably won’t call you’ and Glen Close had yet to wreak havoc and take out her feelings on pet rabbits, so the idea of the crazed man hunting woman had  yet to take quite such a firm grip on the single male psyche.

Much as we can look back to those simple halcyon days, we need to recognise that things have changed and today it can be less clear when we are really in a relationship. Is he or she seeing us exclusively or are we still just one of several options being thoroughly explored and is it OK to ask? Are there modern dating rules which we need to understand?

Courtship, as it was traditionally viewed, is becoming more blurred, less defined. Rebecca Holman writing in The Telegraph says that her generation does not know how to date and it is not just the men being ‘feckless’ – such a lackadaisical modus operandi has caught on amongst the ladies. If you would like to read her article here’s the link:

Some really lovely people come to Searchmate every week and they want to find a real partner. They want courtship, romance and if it is the right person, then commitment. It is something men and women still want at heart and because our introductions are to genuine, attractive people with this in mind and offered one at a time, it seems to work.

We always advise honesty between our clients as well as courtesy and due consideration – factors that work in building a successful and lasting relationship whether you meet the right one through us or through other means.

So if you are looking for a real, lasting relationship with one wonderful ‘significant other’ then speak to us soon about how we might help make that happen for you.