Why The Coronavirus Has Caused Us To Swap ‘FOMO’ For ‘EMOL’
Think back to a time when the world looked very different. A social anxiety known as ‘fear of missing out’ (FOMO) had become acknowledged as a real thing. FOMO sufferers felt a need to continuously stay connected to what other people were doing. As a result, real-life families, friends and couples were becoming distanced from each other. It was what ‘other people’ were doing that held real interest. This was a time when social media, and not the coronavirus, held all the power. This was the mental and emotional distancing of ourselves from those close to us.
Fast forward to now and the truth is, ‘other people’ really aren’t doing very much at all. The celebrities we once watched travelling the world are now reduced to trying to make their back gardens look enviable. Most of us are realising that, actually, we’re much happier focusing on our own lives and our own loved ones. Any-one with any sense is replacing FOMO for EMOL (Enjoying My Own Life).
“The Thrills and Spills Have Gone”
Genuine closeness and understanding from the ‘real people’ in our lives now means everything. When Amanda Holden uploaded a picture of herself mowing the lawn in her wedding dress, as an attempt to gain attention from her ‘followers’, many of us felt nothing but pity. It’s hard to pretend we’re anything that we’re not when on 24 hour lock-down with our loved ones. The thrills and spills have gone. Relationships are about patience, kindness and a willingness to be someone else’s safe place. We’re grateful for the new routines and rituals our loved ones have helped us to form. We’re grateful that someone still finds us endearing, even when they can’t escape us.
The only contact we have with strangers are meetings of empathetic eyes above a face-mask in a supermarket queue. Silently, afraid to breathe the same air, we reassure others that ‘We’re in this together’. And then, dart away as quickly as possible. However, the joy these simple smiles bring, from people we’d never have looked up from our phones for before, reminds us that whatever restrictions the coronavirus crisis imposes upon us, we share the same hopes. We all want everyone to be okay. And, we want to come out of this treasuring the one irreplaceable thing we were on the verge of losing: the joy of being human. This is not a time to watch other people live their lives. It’s about working out how to let authentic love, in all its forms, into our own lives.
Our experienced and friendly membership advisers are available to share an informal chat about how finding love during this time of uncertainty is still possible.
Have you been looking for love only to feel constantly let down and disappointed?
The more setbacks and disappointments you experience in your search for love and happiness then the more disgruntled you’ll start to feel and the more likely it is that you’ll start thinking you’ll never find love and happiness.
Maybe you’ve tried dating methods such as online dating sites only to end up disappointed with your results. Maybe you’ve tried methods such as meeting people through your social circle, your workplace and still you’ve not had the results you were hoping for.
Dating is a tough game, there is no doubt about it so we understand if you are feeling incredibly frustrated by your lack of results.
It’s not all doom and gloom when it comes to finding love and happiness.
There is way that you can get much better results from your dating life and it’s via personal introductions and matchmaking.
With a personal matchmaking service such as Searchmates you get assigned your own personal matchmaker. They will create a compelling profile for you that will be used for ‘introducing’ you to other members in our database.
The whole service is strictly confidential. None of your personal information will ever be at risk of being exposed publicly because everything is stored offline. Using this method you’ll only be meeting people who are deemed to be a compatible match with you and are looking for the same things as you.
This way you are taking a lot of the guesswork and uncertainty out of the dating process compared with other dating methods.
So try it out, there is no harm.
Get in touch with us today and we can discuss what how we can potentially help you find love and happiness today. Call us now for a no obligation chat on 0800 644 4140 and take some positive steps in your dating life.
Managing Expectations When Looking For Love
If you are ready to meet a great partner then it’s important you set some realistic expectations because many people tend to have unrealistic expectations when looking for a great partner. The problem is that these unrealistic expectations can have a dramatic impact on your ability to find a great partner. What’s worse is that you may not even realise they are having such a negative impact on your search for a great partner.
There are few things to keep in mind to help you manage your expectations when looking for a partner:
- Don’t make this the sole focus of your life – It’s important you focus on living a great, healthy lifestyle. When you make looking for a partner the sole focus of your life it comes across as desperate. Focusing on other areas of your life is also crucial for maintaining a balanced, healthy lifestyle, and this is also more attractive to the opposite sex.
- First impressions don’t always matter – You may meet someone with this preconceived idea in your mind about them. Then you meet them and the reality is drastically different. However, keep this in check because first impressions don’t always matter and they could be an amazing person.
- There is no such thing as perfect – Although we would like a perfect partner they don’t exist. You are also not perfect so it’s important to make sure that you don’t have such an unrealistic expectation about anyone you date.
- Take things slowly – Develop the intimacy with whomever you are dating. The more intimacy you develop then the better the relationship will be in the long term.
These are a few of the most important expectations to manage when looking for a new partner. Going out and meeting new people is exciting but you need to be realistic about what you want, and the people you are meeting to have any realistic chance of meeting a great partner.
This way you will be far more likely to meet someone you will be compatible with.
Don’t Give Up On Traditional Dating…Just Yet
Are you at that point where you feel like all is lost when it comes to finding love? Are you feeling so lost and frustrated that you are considering online dating sites?
It’s easy to feel like all hope is lost at finding love when you continuously struggle to find a great partner. Maybe you even had a great partner once upon a time and now it just seems as if you can’t find another person to share your life with. In all of this frustration and negative experiences it is easy to get to the point where you may consider online dating.
Well, let’s just put it out there. You don’t need to give up on traditional dating just yet. There is still time and there is still plenty of ways that you can find love without having to resort to the online dating world. In fact, the online dating world is one of the worst places to look for love. Ask yourself the following questions:
- “How sure can you be that the people you meet on there want what you want?”
- “How can you be sure that they are serious?”
- “How do you know that they can be trusted?”
- “How do I know that I can trust the dating site?”
These are all some important questions you should really consider before taking the plunge into online dating. It is easy to feel like online dating is your last resort if you are feeling frustrated and lost but don’t despair just yet. There are still some traditional dating methods for finding love.
With personal matchmaking you are guaranteed a much greater chance of finding love than what you would on an online dating site. Online dating is full of fake profiles, cases of fraud, and not to mention the fact your private info is public information. There are too many pitfalls to be worth the risk especially in an area as serious and important as finding someone to spend your life with.
If you want to know more about how you can find love then personal matchmaking can help you. Get in touch with us today to find out more.
Did you watch “Age Gap Love” on TV the other evening? I did, and thoroughly enjoyed the heart-warming stories of couples who had found love despite an often huge age gap. Most of these were, of course, extreme cases, as that makes for the best TV, but there were reasons why these people were together, from which I think we can learn something – two of the young men with older partners had health issues, and had been unsuccessful finding a partner in their own age group. In their older partner they had found a tolerance and understanding, patience and acceptance that nothing is perfect. By opening up the possibilities, going beyond the ‘norm’ these couples had found a fulfilment that often eludes single people today.
Although everyone joining our agency is looking for a partner they are often so specific in their criteria that we believe they could be missing out on the one match that could change their lives, simply because the tick is not in the right box. Over the years it has become accepted that a gentleman will often be looking for a younger partner – it seems easy in the outside world for a man to bag himself a much younger woman if he has a fat wallet – that doesn’t happen here! Our female members in their 30s would never state a preference for a man in his 60s – but we do get approached by men in this age group who think we can find them a lady in her 30s – without focusing on wallet size, and we don’t, it is very difficult for us to see how we can ‘sell’ such a gentleman to the sort of lady he thinks he wants.
As professional matchmakers, we have years of experience in making successful matches leading to long and fulfilling relationships, often marriage. To use our skills to best effect, we need the clients to trust our instincts, and allow us the freedom to propose every match we think could be right for them. When very strict criteria are imposed on us, our hands are tied – so clients who have paid a lot of money for our services might not be getting full value. Last autumn a lovely gentleman approached us, looking for a partner in the north of England. We talked at length and got to know each other well enough for him to allow us the freedom to propose the matches we thought would suit him. Sticking with his preferences, the first match did not get beyond the first date, so we followed our instincts and offered him a profile of a lovely lady, well presented, stylish – we knew he would like her look – but would he accept her age – five years older than him? To his credit, he did, and five months later this happy couple are making plans well into the future – without that open minded approach they would not even have met!
Statistics show that women live longer than men and the ladies on our database certainly ‘age’ better than many men – they need a man to match their youthful energy levels, and this will often be best achieved with a gentleman slightly younger than themselves.
If you engage the services of an agency to speed up the process of finding a partner – please, be as open minded as you can and you will get the best value for your money – we are professionals and our wealth of experience means we can often see things you don’t. As the programme showed, age really is “just a number” – ignoring that number could be the key to finding true happiness.