Are you currently in a relationship for the right reasons or the wrong ones? When a relationship is new we are often prone to overlooking issues and the other persons faults in the hope that over time things will improve and become more acceptable. Obviously that rarely happens. Here we look at 5 reasons why you might be in the wrong relationship and why staying with the wrong person is not going to bring you the long term happiness that we all deserve and can attain.
It’s easier to ignore your feelings and doubts
Moving on from a relationship can be a tough thing to do and sometimes it is easier to ignore your feelings and desires to move on and to continue to maintain the equilibrium. But can you do that for the long term or are those doubts and dissatisfaction’s just going to overwhelm you eventually. We feel so – eventually your doubts are going to become so great that you simply cannot live with them any longer. But why waste years in coming to that conclusion?
You don’t feel you will find anyone better
This is one of the most common reasons of all for staying with someone you don’t love and is often caused by a lack of confidence or belief that you can find love again. We are all getting older and worry that it may be difficult to find someone new but that should not be a valid reason for staying in a relationship that is not right for you. At Searchmate we are dealing with all age groups and with people right up to retirement and into retirement.
You feel frightened of being alone
Some of us are able to value our independence and function as individuals, others find that more difficult and stay in a relationship because of inertia and fear of the unknown. But if you’re truly not happy then doing something about it should be a primary consideration. We only pass this way once and getting the maximum from this one life opportunity can be a powerful motivation for many. So why not find the courage and make the change?
You are afraid of hurting your existing partner
This is another of the biggest reasons that people stay in an unhappy relationship, the fear of hurting their current partner. But once again it is not a valid reason if you are unhappy and have fallen out of love with that person. Longer term it is far kinder to both of you to end the unhappiness and move on to experience real love and a fulfilling relationship once again.
You are afraid of your partner moving on
This is a reason that is often not talked about very much, but is about those pangs of jealousy you would feel if your current partner moves on and finds a new love. However is that truly relevant if you have feelings of unhappiness within your current relationship and have fallen out of love? If you were friends before you began your relationship you can be friends again in the future and would want to see them happy too. So although overcoming these feelings of jealousy can be a hurdle to climb – you can do it and go on to find a wonderful new love for yourself too.
Could we help at all? At Searchmate we have experienced many thousands of relationship issues since we first opened our doors in the 1990’s. Julie Lazarus, our Senior Membership Adviser, is always available to talk through issues with you or why not seek the guidance of our Resident Relationship Expert – Dating Coach Ivana Franekova. Both can be available to chat from 9am until 9pm most days on 0800 644 4160. We’d love to hear from you if you think you’d like to talk things through.