Single at 50

Did you read this article in the Daily Mail recently concerning being single at 50? The team here at Searchmate did read it with great interest and it struck a chord with us. The author of the article, Kate Mulvey, went on to describe how she has never been married, or had a relationship last more than 7 years because, in her words, “men find her too intimidating because of her intelligence”. Throughout the rest of the article she went on to relate how various men in her life have registered their annoyance when she was only displaying her dazzling intellectual achievements.

Kate Mulvey (Single at 50) is definitely not a rare example of this type of woman, here at Searchmate they occasionally approach us. In all fairness to Kate Mulvey these women are the product of a backlash against the suppression of women over the ages and the changing attitudes to women both in education and the workplace. Once girls were told to believe that they could achieve as much as men, through hard work and personal endeavour, there was bound to be a percentage who wanted to do just that. Possibly a greater percentage were happy to do well academically, find a satisfying career and then to marry and have a family, but they are not our clients. Anyone, either male or female, who wants to be the best at everything they do, achieve the most they possibly can and prove their excellence to the world has to work exceedingly hard and be so super focused that they become the most important person in their sphere.  The problem with this is that after a time it becomes so second nature to the accomplished individual they do not realise the impact it has on others.

From our experience of working with men and women here at Searchmate, creating happy couples and lasting relationships we know, and this may sound old fashioned and totally out of sync with the modern world, that men do not want to form a relationship with a woman with balls! Yes they want a woman who is intelligent, independent, both in financial terms and how she lives her life, who can conduct lively debate and hold her own opinions but they do not want a constant challenge, either physically or intellectually. Alongside this men want a partner who is tender, who does not make them feel inadequate in any way and with whom they can form an equal partnership. In the same way women want the same thing from a man in a relationship, they don’t want to be made to feel small, in company or at home,  they don’t want to be intimidated they just want to be valued and most of all cherished.  In fact both sexes want the same thing.

To be in a loving relationship is possibly the most dreamed about human condition and many lucky people find this for themselves. However, for many and various reasons there is always going to be work for personal introduction agencies like Searchmate, helping people to find their life partner and forge a lasting loving relationship.  A relationship that consists of two equal partners working hard to maintain the equilibrium in a loving relationship, where no-one assumes superiority over the other in any personal, physical or intellectual state and both place the emotional wellbeing of their partner in the highest regard.

If you would like to read the full content of Kate Mulvey’s Single at 50 article please follow this link: