January is sadly the top month of the year for calls to be made to divorce lawyers. Whether it is the stress of the Christmas holidays or the drive for a new start in the New Year, break ups and ‘being dumped’ happens more this month than any other time and many of us find ourselves unexpectedly single. So if this has just happened to you, you are certainly not alone, even if it feels very much like that right now!
When a relationship ends it can be very painful for both parties. It can leave a lot of questions unanswered and hard to deal with feelings of rejection from someone who we opened our heart to. It hurts! So how do we get from this pain to getting our life back on track?
Of course it is much easier if there are not joint financial commitments or children concerned. Then it is about dealing with the emotional upheaval. There will be friends and family who knew you as a couple and it’s best to let them know rather than withdraw to lick your wounds. Real friends will want to support you and you can lean on them to off-load some of your feelings. Do try and not overdo this with just one friend though and appreciate that being a one track record isn’t helping you or your friend.
You may experience sadness, anger, rage even. It is after all a form of bereavement in that you need to grieve for the relationship that you have lost. That’s all normal and you will need to work through these emotions towards accepting what has happened. Meanwhile take care of yourself and allow time for these wounds to heal and they will do.
The days will get brighter, time you spent with your ex-partner can be filled with other activities and life will get better. Finding love does expose us to the risk of heart ache but Tennyson’s line still holds true – ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’
When you feel you are ready for a new relationship with the right person for you, why not call us and talk to one of our discreet and friendly matchmakers about how we can help make that happen.