Perhaps finding a new partner is not yet on your mind or conversely, maybe you know that now you are ready to move on and connect with someone who could be your future soul mate? If the latter is true for you, here are some simple pointers our matchmakers would suggest you bear in mind as you re-enter the dating scene.
Tip 1: Move on from thinking about your divorce.
We know that can be a big ask as divorce is rarely a good experience, but in order to make a success of meeting new people, you will need to let go of any hard feelings. You need to regain confidence in yourself as a person who is ready to have a positive relationship with someone new. You may find talking to a counsellor helps or perhaps to a recommended relationships / life coach.
As we feel this such an important element we have teamed up with Jo Barnett, one of the UK’s leading experts in relationships. A very approachable and highly respected dating coach, Jo has accumulated first class experience in talking through dating issues and gained extensive knowledge from working with thousands of singles over the years, (should you wish to take up this useful service, a one to one session with Jo is now included as part of our Platinum level of membership).
Tip 2: Don’t feel embarrassed about being divorced
Some people who are divorced often feel a sense of failure but don’t worry, just be confident in yourself with all your ‘history’. Remember, there is no one more attractive to others than someone who is confident in who they are and as we journey through life we all have different life experiences but the trick is to move on and deal with things positively.
Tip 3: Be Yourself
Put your best foot forward, present yourself at your best but be genuine too, be yourself and be confident about it
‘Being yourself’ may be a real cliché but it is TRUE. There is absolutely no value in pretending to be someone other than who you are. Unfortunately the internet dating sites are absolutely bursting full of people pretending to be years younger, richer, taller, more glamorous than they really are and when they get to meet others it only ends in disappointment all round.
Being yourself ensures you will find someone who is delighted with YOU – the real you and your budding relationship will be off to the best possible start.
If you are looking to find romance post-divorce we have many lovely, genuine singles amongst whom there is probably someone just perfect for you and who would be delighted to get to know you soon.
For more information, call us today on 0800 644 4160.
We are looking forward to hearing from you .
Getting over those awkward moments when you’re dating again
Many of us will have painful recollections of when, as teenagers, the moment came to introduce the boyfriend or girlfriend to ‘meet the parents’. Will they like him or her? Will he or she like them? Will anybody embarrass themselves, or others?
Charlie is at boarding school, and has found a girlfriend, Sophie, who lives quite a distance from home. With the summer holidays looming, he realised that he would need to make plans to see her during the holidays. His parents said she was welcome to spend some time with him at their home. A horrified Charlie immediately protested that there was no way he would bring her to his home, as his father would almost certainly embarrass him! Mum helpfully intervened with the an incentive she knew would appeal to Charlie, and encourage his father to be on his best behaviour – if he embarrassed Charlie, Dad (a Scotsman) should pay Charlie £50!
Hopefully, the grown up version of this scenario will run more smoothly, and cost less too! With the boot on the other foot, many of our clients will find themselves preparing to introduce their new partner to their, often grown-up, children. Whilst some may feel that they have made their choice, and approval is no longer that important, to others it is so crucial that the new partner is welcomed and accepted into the family that their future happiness could depend on it. So, everyone has their role to play, and we hope that they will take the time to consider their response. No-one can replace the missing father or mother, and life has to move on. The parent who may have spent a lot of time alone, feels ready to move forward and they must hope that their children will recognise this – it might have suited them nicely to have the parent to themselves, perhaps with plenty of time to help with grandchildren – a new partner taking up the parent’s time could prove inconvenient to them – but, this time, for once, it is not all about the children.
Didn’t we, as parents of those teenagers, hope that we could like the partner, and if we didn’t warm to them, keep our thoughts to ourselves if we could see that the youngsters were making each other happy? This time around, it is up to the children to take this mature, and not always easy approach, to recognise the parent’s happiness, and embrace a different, but potentially happier future for the whole family.
And how did it go for Charlie and Sophie? Well, feeling confident that the offer of a £50 penalty would have reassured Charlie sufficiently, when driving him back to school, Dad asked Charlie when he would be bringing Sophie home. Quick as a flash, Charlie responded: “The day before you give me £50!”
