Introduction: The Mystery and Magic of Love
Love is that inexplicable feeling which has inspired countless poets, songwriters, and artists throughout human history. Love seems to be something fundamental to human fulfilment, whether that be romantic love or the love we have for those that are close to us such as dear family and friends. Today we are concentrating on romantic love and looking at what happens in the brain when we are in a state of romantic love.
Behind romance lies some fascinating neurochemical and hormonally driven processes that have been studied by scientists, seeking to understand what is going on in our brains, when we fall head over heels in love. It’s been found that the brain undergoes a remarkable series of changes that affect us fundamentally, involving everything from how we will behave and feel, to the way that we see the world around us and other physical symptoms, that can all tell us love has truly come along.
When Cupid's arrow strikes, your brain becomes a sophisticated chemical laboratory, with a whole raft of hormones and neurotransmitters involved, resulting in those sensations we have come to recognize as how it feels to be in love. This neurochemical reaction induced by romantic love can begin from the very first moment you meet someone who catches your attention, and it will continue to evolve and heighten as the relationship develops and deepens.
The Neurochemistry Behind Love
The first stage of falling in love usually begins with physical attraction, often triggered upon meeting someone by visual and other sensory inputs such as touch and smell. During this phase, your brain releases some key chemicals that have a strong impact upon us.
Key Neurotransmitters and Hormones in Attraction
- Phenylethylamine (PEA) has been referred to as “the love molecule". PEA is a naturally produced amphetamine, and its presence also promotes the release of the neurotransmitters, norepinephrine and dopamine. PEA is thought to be responsible for the heightened attention and focus that we feel when we are attracted to someone.
- Norepinephrine: This is a neurotransmitter in the brain that leads on to that sensation of a racing heart, sweaty palms and the ‘butterflies in the pit of your stomach’ feeling. It's also very involved in our primitive fight-or-flight response to danger, which explains why we might feel nervous, on edge or excited around someone we are feeling attracted to.
- Dopamine: Often referred to as the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, higher levels of dopamine bring us positive feelings of pleasure and reward. Its release during attraction can even generate feelings of euphoria. Sometimes the release of Dopamine during romantic love also brings a decrease in appetite and difficulties in sleeping, both are common symptoms of early-stage romance.
Which Brain Regions Get Activated When We’re in Love?
Specific areas of the brain are known to ‘light up’ when we are in love. Neuroimaging studies reveal regions of the brain, particularly those associated with reward, pleasure, and emotional processing, becoming far more active. The most notable areas include the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA), part of the brain which plays a crucial role in motivation and reward processing. When you fall in love, the VTA becomes highly active, flooding your brain with dopamine. This explains why love can feel so addictive, as we are experiencing the same reward pathways being triggered as with some addictive substances.
Working together with the VTA, the Nucleus Accumbens region of the brain helps us to preserve memories associated with highly pleasurable experiences. This region's activation may explain why the memories of a romantic encounter are often so vivid for us.
Additionally, the Anterior Cingulate Cortex region of the brain has also been seen to become much more active. This brain region processes emotions and regulates our perception of physical pain. Its activation during romantic love might explain why being in love can actually reduce our sensitivity to physical pain, a phenomenon that has been documented in several scientific studies.
The Evolution of Romantic Love: A Three-Phase Journey
As a relationship progresses from initial lust to true love, the brain's chemical profile shifts. This progression can be broken down into three distinct phases:
Phase 1 – Lust
Driven primarily by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen, the lust phase of attraction is characterized by strong feelings of physical desire. The hormones activated in this stage help regulate basic drives such as hunger and thirst, and in the initial phase of lust, also promote those feelings of sexual desire.
Phase 2 – Attraction
Following on from lust, we have the phase of attraction, and the brain will produce higher levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, whilst serotonin levels have been found to decrease. The fall in serotonin might explain why people in love can often feel overly anxious and might display obsessive thinking patterns similar to those seen in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, (OCD).
Phase 3 – Attachment
As our feelings develop further, there is the increase of two important hormones as we start to feel more attached to our love interest. Often called the "cuddle hormone" or "love hormone”, oxytocin is released during physical touch, particularly during more intimate moments. This hormone promotes feelings of bonding, trust and emotional attachment along with feelings of contentment. Vasopressin is also released in the attachment stage, and it works alongside oxytocin, helping to create long-term bonds. Vasopressin is thought to be particularly important in male attachment behaviours and might promote the desire to guard and protect a partner.
Long-Term Love: Maintaining the Early Sparks
Contrary to popular belief, research has shown that longer term love can sometimes maintain many of the characteristics of these early stages of romance. A groundbreaking study published in the journal of Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that couples who reported still being "intensely in love" after more than 20 years of marriage, showed similar brain activity patterns when viewing pictures of their partners, to couples who were still in the early stages of romance.
How Love Impacts Cognitive Function and Behavior
The neurochemical changes associated with being in love can significantly impact our cognitive function and behaviour in various ways. The combination of norepinephrine and dopamine enhances our ability to form memories, and this enhanced memory formation is thought to have an evolutionary purpose, helping us to remember key details of potential mates and why we felt attracted to them.
Activity in the frontal cortex of the brain is responsible for critical thinking and judgment and this activity will often decrease when we are experiencing feelings of intense romantic love. This probably explains why people in love sometimes make odd or irrational decisions and why it’s not unusual for us to idealise our new partner.
The release of oxytocin and vasopressin during attachment and romantic bonding, helps reduce our stress levels by causing a reduction of another hormone, cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. This stress-reducing effect of being in love can contribute to health benefits including lower blood pressure and an improved immune function.
The Downside of Love: When the Chemistry Goes Wrong
The powerful neurochemical processes involved in love can also have some downsides. The activation of reward pathways during romantic love can create patterns similar to addiction, complete with strong cravings, withdrawal symptoms, and relapse-like behaviours. For some individuals, this could mean wanting to move on to new partners again and again, as they crave the initial high that they experienced in a new relationship. That feeling of "lovesickness" almost certainly has a real biological basis and is something many of us will have experienced at some point in our lives, perhaps particularly that first time we fell in love, or after an intense relationship ends when we wanted it to continue.
While science has made significant strides in understanding the neurobiological basis of love, there is still much that is left to be discovered. However, what's clear is that love is not just a poetic concept or something that society has constructed over time to promote stable and lasting relationships, love involves highly complex neuro-biological processes that affect our brain chemistry, our thinking, our behaviour and even our whole body metabolism, in profound ways.
The fact that such a complex emotional experience can be partially explained in terms of neuroscience doesn't make the experience of falling in love any less magical. Instead, understanding some of the biology of love can help us appreciate the intricate processes that nature developed to ensure human bonding and survival, and it helps us to understand what we are going through when we fall in love.
Are You Looking for Love? Let Our Expert Matchmakers Help
If you are currently single and hoping to fall in love, then perhaps you’d like to consider using the professional services of a personal matchmaker, who can be there to support you through all of the ups and downs that the journey to finding love can sometimes involve. At Searchmate, we have a team of dedicated and highly experienced matchmakers, all of whom are friendly and approachable and with access to an extensive database of genuine singles living across the UK, who are also looking for love.
Why not get in touch with us at Searchmate now and discover more about our matchmaking knowhow and expertise, and how what we do, might be a better way to help bring love into your life. Simply call us today on 0800 644 4160, or fill out our easy contact form. We look forward to hearing from you!
